


Casual Affair

by agaybaddie



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Harvey Specter is Not an Asshole, M/M, Past Mike/Rachel, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-11-28 20:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agaybaddie/pseuds/agaybaddie
Summary: Harvey fell silent and Mike almost wanted to vocally thank him for that, because he knew he wouldn't be able to hold his tears back if Harvey said anything else about it. But they sat there in the silence, until Harvey grabbed Mike's wrist and told him to come with him. Mike simply obliged and Harvey helped wrap Mike's coat around his trembling body. He wasn't alone. At least not for tonight.





	1. Chapter 1

It'd been a week.  
A week since he told her it wouldn't work, a week since he told her he'd leave, a week since he'd acted like he had his shit together, like he knew where he was supposed to go. He didn't know anything and kept looking for the answer at the bottom of the bottle. There had been times when he had wanted to run back to the apartment that they'd built their home in, to just forgive her and give it another go. But how could he, when she betrayed the only demand he ever had in their relationship? 

_Just be honest with me, okay?_

_I promise._

And now he was sat in the same bar, in the same stool, with the same bartender in front of him that poured him yet another drink. This was the third night in a row, and he was wondering how long it'd take before they had someone come and drag him out of there. He wasn't oblivious; he had seen the looks they owners had given him, heard the whispers behind his back. He'd decided that until that someone happened to show up, he would close his eyes as he downed the alcohol, and let it burn against the walls of his sore throat, abusing it even more than he could do by just crying. Maybe by the end of the night he wouldn't be able to speak-- not that he had anyone to speak _to_. 

It had hit him in the past week that he truly was all alone without Rachel. Maybe that's why he was so desperate to run back to her and "forgive" her for what she had done. He'd played out the conversation he would've had with Edith, his dear grandmother, had she still been alive. He knew that she would've adored Rachel, but would've despised her even more if he would've told her why they'd broken up. Edith had always supported him, even when she disagreed with the choices he made in life. Hell, she had been his biggest fan, and he didn't even get the chance to repay her. He had been too late for that, as always. First with his parents, with his grandmother, with every goddamn partner he'd had in his life. He made everything go to shit, didn't he?

Squeezing the glass hard in his hand, Mike stretched it out towards the bartender, eyes pleading to just pour him another drink. The bartender had given him a short look filled with pity, before letting the alcohol run out into the glass once again. Mike thanked them by giving a short nod, but didn't get the chance to bring the glass back to his lips before the glass was snatched out of his hand.

"Hey, what the hell?" Mike exclaimed, voice steadier than he would've expected it to be by now. But as he looked up, he crumbled and his eyes diverted to look down towards his feet instead, as he raised a hand to cover half of his miserable face. 

"Goddamnit Mike." Harvey Specter's voice was low, but didn't quite express the disappointment Mike had expected to hear from him. Instead his tone was worried and his eyes glazed with a sort of compassion that Mike hadn't seen him have for anyone before. But maybe he was just terrible at reading the other man. 

Mike remained silent as Harvey sunk to sit on the stool next to him. Harvey thanked the bartender, and Mike couldn't quite wrap his head around how they'd manage to connect him to Harvey when Mike didn't even work for him anymore.

"Care to tell me why Jonathan Sidwell just called me telling me you didn't show up to sign your termination papers?" Harvey asked, and Mike could feel his stare burn in his neck as he awaited an answer. 

"He called you?" Mike retorted, keeping his eyes facing forward and not on Harvey. 

"Yes, Mike. He called me thinking you would run directly back to me after being fired. Which I told him you didn't do. But I found you, because I always do. So talk to me, right now." Harvey demanded and Mike could feel the tears burn on the inside of his eyelids. 

Closing his eyes, he took a breath. "Rachel cheated on me. With Logan Sanders." 

Harvey fell silent and Mike almost wanted to vocally thank him for that, because he knew he wouldn't be able to hold his tears back if Harvey said anything else about it. But they sat there in the silence, until Harvey grabbed Mike's wrist and told him to come with him. Mike simply obliged and Harvey helped wrap Mike's coat around his trembling body. He wasn't alone. At least not for tonight. 

* * *

Mike sat curled up on Harvey's couch in his perfectly cleaned apartment. With a comforter draped around his body, Mike felt like a five-year old again. Harvey had been on the phone since they got here, and he'd been adamant on keeping it private. It'd been around 17 minutes that Mike had been seated in the living room all by himself and he didn't know what was worse, counting the minutes he was without Harvey or the fact he hadn't thought about Rachel since he got here. She'd been the only thing on his mind for a week, and now it was like she didn't exist. 

The sound of Harvey's bedroom door opening made Mike turn his head, listening to the footsteps as they made their way towards the living room. Harvey's silhouette soon stood in the doorway, eyes on Mike. Harvey was out of his three-piece suit and wore only his button-up accompanied with a pair of tight sweatpants. On any other day Mike would've remarked on his choice of clothing, but this was no other day. They looked at each other for a moment, before Mike turned his head back towards the television that played _The Godfather_ and Harvey decided to join him on the couch. 

"I am sorry, Mike."  
It was first when Harvey spoke again that Mike noticed how close they sat. Shoulder to shoulder. He nodded and met Harvey's gaze, a sigh leaving his chapped lips. 

"Thanks, Harvey." 

"No. I mean it. And you can stay for as long as you need." Harvey said, a hint of desperation in his soft tone. "I called Donna. She's gonna help bring your stuff over here by the morning. So you won't have to worry about going back there." 

Mike felt himself choke up again, the tears once again threatening to stain his cheeks. Harvey noticed this time, and snaked his hand underneath Mike's comforter to find his hand. Feeling the warm hand intertwine with his own felt unfamiliar, but strangely like home. Mike wasn't alone. Never had been. Because Harvey had always been there, ever since the day that they met. And with that, Mike allowed the tears to come, allowed them to run down his cheeks and land on the comforter. 

"She was crying when she told me. Begging me for forgiveness. Telling me she loved me and that it meant nothing. But she kissed _him_. And then she comes running back to me, acting as if we can get through it... like it's the most mundane thing to happen.."

"A casual affair." 

Mike only hummed in response, followed by another sob into Harvey's shoulder while Harvey's empty hand had slipped into Mike's hair. It was greasy and messy, but Harvey didn't seem to care. And Mike leaned up, wiping his eyes that were becoming red just so he could look at the lawyer whose arms he was embraced in. Harvey's eyes stared back into Mike's, searching for a way to make all of this go away. But they both knew he couldn't. 

"I'm sorry." Mike spoke, and Harvey furrowed his brows in confusion. 

"Mike..."

There was no time for Harvey to speak before Mike's lips had connected with his in a sloppy kiss that tasted like desperation and salt from the tears Mike had cried. But Harvey kissed him back, trembling-- he was scared of how _real_ this felt, scared of how right it was. But if there was anything Mike had taught him, it was to face your fears every once in a while. Harvey pushed the comforter out of the way, his arm wrapping around Mike's frame and pulling him close. 

"Never tell me you're sorry again.." Harvey's breath was heavy against Mike's lips as he spoke. Those words brought a small smile onto Mike's lips and that sight was enough to make Harvey smile as well. 

"Only if you kiss me again." Mike said and Harvey smirked. 

"No objections to that, your honor."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't meant to be a series but I had this idea for a second chapter and well..... enjoy.

Getting nothing but silence from Harvey wasn't something Mike wasn't used to. Harvey wasn't always vocal about his thoughts, and especially not his feelings. That used to be fine. It was fine, until they kissed. They kissed and they kissed and they kissed and now there was nothing. No touches, no words, Harvey barely even recognised Mike's mere existence.

Mike kept asking himself what he had done wrong.

Had he been too quick, too forward? Used too much tongue, maybe? Was Harvey even interested? Mike never even believed someone like Harvey would've wanted to hire him, but the man had always managed to prove him wrong. But maybe Mike had misread everything up until this point. Maybe he had been wrong. He was wrong about Rachel, about Trevor. He didn't want to be wrong about Harvey too. But if he was, he needed to hear it.

The door clicked open to Harvey's apartment and Mike was pulled out of his thoughts. He could feel his heart beating in his chest- he'd been preparing all day to confront Harvey and now he was almost ready to run the other way. But he forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat and pushed forward, rounding the corner and--

"Jesus, Mike!

Donna's voice echoed through the apartment and Mike's stuff landed on the floor with a 'thump'. It took a second for Mike, stood in only t-shirt and boxers, to process what actually happened.

"Donna?"

The confusion in his tone must've been present, because Donna tilted her head to her side (like she always did when she was disappointed or preparing to give one of her infamous motivational speeches) and sarcastically commented on how "of course it's me, have you gone blind too". It was first when Mike didn't retorted back at her that her gaze softened and she helped him pick up the box of clothes she had previously dropped.

Mike followed her into the kitchen as she placed the box on the counter, and sank down on one of the bar stools. Donna turned to face her friend who's eyes remained on the floor. She hadn't seen Mike in God knew how long, but the sight was worse than she'd expected.

"I'm sorry." She said softly, which brought Mike to look up at her.

With his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he spoke. "Sorry? For what?"

Donna sighed and grabbed his hand, before pulling him onto his feet and welcoming him into her arms. "For being late to give you this." She said, as she embraced him tightly.

Mike couldn't do otherwise but to let his head rest on her shoulder and allow the tears to once again fill his eyes, soon running down his face. He couldn't find any words, but he didn't need to. Because Donna just _knew_.

He didn't know for how long they remained like that, but when he eventually pulled back, his body was filled with a warmth he hadn't felt in a while. Donna brought her hand up to wipe the tears from Mike's face, and he gave her a small smile in return.

"Thanks for bringing my things." He said, eyes landing on the box.

"Oh, this is just the first one. You have a lot of stuff for being... well, you." She said and earned a laugh from Mike.

"I should help you bring the rest of those up."

"Not without pants, you aren't!" Donna waved with her finger, as she retreated back out the door.

The smile remained on Mike's lips. As always, she was right. He really did need to put on some pants. So that's what he did, for the first time in a couple of days. Donna was pleased to see him come down, and together they brought the rest of his things up to Harvey's apartment. Now they sat on the floor, in between a total of four moving boxes filled with Mike's things. They'd been quiet for the most part, Donna knowing that Mike had something on his mind. He knew that she waited for him to say something, but he didn't know how to start.

"How's Harvey?" was eventually the words that left Mike's mouth. He didn't look at Donna now, simply waited for her response as he stared at his hands that were tangled together in an attempt to distract himself from the knot in his stomach.

"His old self. Unfortunately." Donna said softly, eyes on Mike. "It's what he does. At work it's just-"

"It's just work, I know. But not with you." His voice cracked, eyes glancing over towards her direction for a second. "He tells you things whether he likes it or not. If not with his words, then with his silence. I just need to know if-"

"Mike." Donna grabbed his wrist and made him catch his breath, made him stop for a moment.

A silence fell between them and Mike felt like he was falling apart. His lip trembled, searching for something, an answer, closure maybe, he didn't know anymore. And maybe Donna didn't either and this was wrong of him, to pressure her into revealing details of her friendship with Harvey that Mike had nothing to do with. He wanted to apologise, but no words were coming out, or maybe Donna could decipher his sobs and know what he tried to say. But suddenly he was being pulled into arms that weren't Donna's, and hushed breaths that could've been words was in his ear and the familiar scent made him feel like he was home.

"Mike, listen to me.."

Harvey. Mike's mind was blank, and right now that was all he knew. Harvey. Harvey and his breath against Mike's ear, Harvey and his arms tightening around Mike's body as he grew desperate to hear something other than the man's sobs.

"Mike, please. Please stop crying."

He'd never heard Harvey so desperate, so quiet and gentle. And finally Mike looked up, meeting Harvey's gaze through blurry eyes. Despite him barely being able to see because of the waterfalls in his eyes, he knew they were alone. Harvey's hand wrapped around Mike's cheek, carefully wiping the tears off of his face.

"Harvey." His voice trembled, it was weak, it sounded pathetic, but Mike needed to know. "What did I do wrong?"

Harvey let out a quiet laugh mixed with some sort of sob, as he shook his head and pressed his forehead against Mike's. "Nothing. Nothing at all. It's me."

"Then why are you treating me like air?" Mike tried to pull back, but Harvey wouldn't let him.

"Because I'm scared of losing you. And instead of losing you, I push you away. Because... I guess it's easier."

And suddenly Mike wasn't sad anymore. Instead he felt anger, rage almost, that welled up inside of him in a matter of seconds. He pushed back hard, releasing himself from Harvey's grip. "What a fucking pity party you're throwing."

Harvey looked shocked for a moment, before his face morphed into a frown. "I'm trying to give you the truth, Mike. I'm actually trying to open up, and this is what you give me in return?"

Mike stared at Harvey in disbelief. "Well, yes. Because you're late. You've left me feeling worthless for days, letting me wonder why I'm not good enough for you. Right after I practically confessed my love for you, and now when you see me breaking down, you think it's appropriate for you to 'open up'?"

"Oh, don't come to me with that 'love' bullshit, it was a kiss because you were feeling lonely!"

Those words were like a kick to Mike's stomach. The air seemed to leave him for a second, and he stumbled backwards, before slowly recomposing himself. "You seriously think that low of me?" His voice was a mere whisper now, clearly hurt by the other man's words.

"I.. no.. wait.." And for the first time, Harvey seemed speechless. "Fuck, Mike..."

Mike didn't waste another second as tears began to build up in his eyes again. He headed for the door, feeling like he was walking through quicksand. He had no plan on where to go, but he needed to go. Clearly he wasn't wanted. Once again. _Never enough_.

But this was also the time where Harvey wasn't gonna let him go. Running after Mike, Harvey grabbed ahold of the hand that Mike almost immediately pulled back from him.,.

Mike pulled the door open, and Harvey practically stumbled after him. "Mike, I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't really cut it this time, Harvey."

Harvey shut the door on him before he could leave. "I love you."

And Mike froze.


End file.
